Guest post by Noel Holston

Coca-Cola is as much a part of my Southern upbringing as Elvis, SEC football, pecan pie, possum grapes, and grits.

When I was growing up, it was synonymous with soda pop itself. We talked going to get a Coke even when what we actually pulled out of the cooler was a root beer or an Orange Crush.

But if you’ve watched any sponsored TV lately, especially around evening news time, you know that Coca-Cola is a terrible company, its signature product warranting a skull-and-crossbones label.  

Or so says Consumers’ Research, an outfit that you should not confuse with Consumer Reports, although they probably don’t mind if you do. It’s a right-wing advocacy group that’s been buying TV spots all over the country, including in Georgia, Coca-Cola’s home state, to run some of the nastiest attack ads I’ve ever seen. The targets also include Nike and American Airlines.

The anti-Coke spot accuses the company of attempting to distract people from its “dismal” business failures, kissing up to repressive regimes and selling to teenagers “despite the obesity crisis.”

The words “Stop poisoning our children” appear on screen at the end.

The funny thing about the appearance of these spots is that Coca-Cola has been around since 1886. While pretty much everybody now knows that drinking sugary beverages – not just Coke but Pepsi, Yoo-hoo, 7 Up, even homemade sweet tea – can lead to cavities and diabetes, it only recently started to infuriate the watchdogs at Consumers’ Research.

That’s because what actually annoys them isn’t overweight teenagers or the wellbeing of foreign workers but, rather, that Coke is, in their view, woke.

They’re out to get for Coca-Cola because the brand’s CEO, James Quincey, supposedly lied about Georgia’s new voting laws. Quincey denounced the new measures as restrictive and regressive.  Never mind that his assessment is shared by both of Georgia’s new U.S. Senators, most election experts and millions of Georgia voters. To Consumers’ Research and Trumpist megaphones like Fox News and Breitbart, it’s a “falsehood” that must be challenged just like that lie that Joe Biden won the Presidency fair and square.

Consumers’ Research is thus spending a bundle to smear one of the most philanthropically generous companies in the world, an iconic Georgia business that donates money to everything from the American Red Cross to the Peabody Awards to youth baseball teams.

It’s a dirty, deceitful campaign that demonstrates just how shameless the Trumpist Right remains.  Nothing is sacred to these guys but their god Don.

If Gerber or Marie Callender were to speak out against state laws that in application make it more difficult for poor Americans and minorities to vote, we’d probably be seeing spots attacking motherhood and apple pie.

I’m not blind. Coca-Cola is a huge international corporation, no more without sin than Royal Dutch Shell or Monsanto. I know its signature product isn’t particularly good for my teeth or my blood sugar. Still, I drink a bottle or can once in a while, partly because we have a history, partly because I still like the taste of it. And I plan to drink them more often until Consumers’ Research stops running those spots and lying about disingenuous laws drafted to address nonexistent voter fraud.

I’d also like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

That used to mean I was idealistic, kindhearted, even Christian. Now I guess it just means I’ve drunk the Woke-a-Cola.

Note: Noel Holston is a freelance writer who lives in Athens, Georgia. He’s a contributing essayist to Medium.com, TVWorthWatching.com, and other websites. He previously wrote about television and radio at Newsday (200-2005) and, as a crosstown counterpart to the Pioneer Press’s Brian Lambert, at the Star Tribune  (1986-2000).  He’s the author of “Life After Deaf: My Misadventures in Hearing Loss and Recovery,” by Skyhorse.