Having found a real cup of coffee, I was walking back to my lavish room at the Spa Hot Springs Motel and Clinic on Main Street, White Sulphur Springs, Montana when the half-dozen biker guys poured out of their adjoining rooms and began the process of saddling up for the day’s ride. They were a riot of Harley-Davidson-branded gear. Harley vests. Harley belts. Harley t-shirts. Harley bandanas. And of course big, chromy Harley motorcycles.
Watching the elaborate packing process while sipping my latte I finally asked, “So what’s up with Sturgis this year? Have they called it off?” Four of them ignored me. The guy I picked for the alpha of the bunch shot me a look and said, “Fuck no.” The sixth guy, a bit more sociable, looked up from carefully folding his rain gear into his (Harley-branded) saddle bag said, “No way. It’s happening.” All I could say was, “Really. Well, that’ll be wild.” “Yeah,” he said. “It’s a protest.”
I was tempted to say something effete and out-of-touch big city liberal like, “A protest against what, sanity?” But I didn’t. At this point in the worst pandemic in a hundred years and with as many Americans dying every three days as died in 9/11, futility is the only product of a “discussion” with Harley-encrusted “protestors.” So ride on, dudes.
It goes without saying that the annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, a tribal extravaganza of face-to-face, jowl-to-jowl, belly-bumping machismo and consumer exhibitionism holds the high probability of being the single largest “super spreader” of COVID-19 held anywhere in the world since the outbreak began last November. A quarter of a million people, the vast majority middle-aged to older white men, will both ride into western South Dakota this week for the giant, mechanized bacchanal … and then turn around ride back to their homes, all across the country, spreading everything they picked up in Sturgis all along their routes, like a horde of toxic Johnny Appleseeds.
Bikerworld’s other big rally, in Daytona, Florida went on as scheduled this past March in the early days of the pandemic. But Daytona’s “Biketobefest” seems likely to be cancelled this fall, what with the virus surging worse than ever … in large part due to “protestors”, the roughly 36% of freedom-loving Americans who refuse submit to reality and continue to prolong and enhance the peril to the lives and livelihood of everyone else.
Letting Sturgis happen amid all this is of course not surprising given the culture of South Dakota. The current governor, Kristi Noem, once upon a time the South Dakota Snow Queen, is every Trumpist’s dream girl. She’s abolished the requirement to get a permit before carrying a concealed gun, opposed Obamacare and every form of abortion rigts she can find or be pointed at, is on record — during Obama’s term — as being very concerned about the national debt, so much so that as a Congresswoman she declared the Environmental Protection Agency, the Department of Veterans Affairs, Medicaid, high-speed rail projects, cap-and-trade technical assistance, and subsidies for the Washington Metro rapid transit system examples of federal programs she thought needed a damn good whacking.
Then there’s the $400,000 fence she wanted built around the Governor’s Mansion … in Pierre (friggin’) South Dakota, the state government jobs (with salary increases) she gave her daughter and son-in-law, the $80,000 personal TV studio she had built and her order that the words “In God We Trust” — in 12″ high letters — be displayed prominently in every school in the state.
And all that of course was before she shrugged off any kind of science-based compliance with CDC virus guidelines.
Noem of course isn’t unique among South Dakota politicians. A few beauty queen touches here and there and she’s really just a FoxNews regular guest upgrade from the usual white male militarist-rancher anachronism. Put another way, Noem is precisely the kind of creature-from-a-different-era who blithely rationalizes away any responsibility to a world beyond that which sustains her.
I won’t bore you here with the long(est) version of my personal interaction with South Dakota’s authoritarian politics, namely it’s “Stop and Frisk” drug interdiction policy on its Interstate highway system. No more than to say getting pursued, stopped, interrogated and searched by a nervous young trooper (who kept repeating, “This is what I do and I’m good at”) under the pretense of being written a warning ticket for going 82 in an 80 has led to several revelations. Not the least being that South Dakota troopers tasked with stopping “drug smugglers” (i.e. anyone who they suspect might be running home with a gummi left over from their visit to Colorado) make no attempt whatsoever to stop, interrogate and search commercial truckers. Trucking companies have lobbies, y’know.
That and the South Dakota Superintendent of the State Patrol, replying to my complaint about the incident telling me, a 67-year old tourist, I didn’t deserve so much as an apology for the inconvenience of the stop because … wait for it … the twitchy officer, after rummaging through my wife and my underwear, eventually found an unopened jar of foot cream containg CBD oil. A jar my acupuncturist friend had given me. Foot cream you see is “an illegal narcotic” as far as South Dakota is concerned and therefore me smuggling it validated the entire stop, interrogation and search. (The Superintendent didn’t explain why I wasn’t arrested and forced to fork over the usual $2300-plus worth of fines to the state coffers.)
To date, the incident has to date led to dozens of conversations with South Dakota lawyers, journalists and politicians. (“It’s just an amazingly stupid place,” bemoaned one ex-journalist.) The still-developing picture is of a state like so much of Trump-loving conservative America that wears its “love of freedom” on its sleeve while routinely, regularly abusing the spirit of the most basic Constitutional laws. All in service to an ossified 1950s-style notion of “law and order.” (Throughout the incident above, I could only imagine what would be happening if I was a 20 year-old black kid, instead of an old white guy in a bland, late-model rental car.)
Point being. No matter what science or common sense or common courtesy say, no matter what’s good for the rest of the country, South Dakota wants the money the flagrant recklessness and naked stupidity Sturgis brings in.
So yeah, it’s a righteous protest. Ride on dudes. MAGA!
Truly, Man, I drop everything when I see one of your posts come in… and I’m laughing already by paragraph 3 :I was tempted to say something effete and out-of-touch big city liberal like, “A protest against what, sanity?” And by the way, I loved the timing your last post… just moments before I heard that Trump wanted to delay the next election… Like Frank Bruni, I am an appreciator of great sentences, and here’s another of yours: “Noem is precisely the kind of creature-from-a-different-era who blithely rationalizes away any responsibility to a world beyond that which sustains her.” Keep up the good work, Brian.
Thanks, Larry. I’m here to serve. (Not “protect” so much.)
Of course the massive Sturgis rally is stupid and irresponsible, and is arguably so even in non-pandemic years. But then everyone’s idea of what is safe during the pandemic varies. I, for example, would not dream of a road trip to Montana to stay in a motel and pick up lattes at the local coffee shop. In fact, I haven’t been near a Starbucks since February. Or a grocery store, restaurant, bar, liquor store, or gas station bathroom. But that’s just me…almost 71, still alive and trying to stay that way. If I can’t get it delivered or pick it up curbside and contact-free, I don’t need it.
Who of course knows what I might have picked up in Montana — or for that matter could pick up at Jerry’s Hardware here in Edina. But for the record, Montana meant no airplane ride and about as few people per square mile as anyplace in the lower 48. Also … eight days and not a single hot meal. Day in day out gas station sandwiches and yogurt. Fine dining, baby. I did have a couple beers … in all but deserted bars, sitting alone in a corner. Camped out several nights. (A lot of grasshoppers this year.) Mostly though. Me. Alone. In a car. Stopping mainly on prairie and mountain roads to savor the absence of … Trump.
Well, you, sir, are a bold sojourner. Well done.
I don’t know, giving up hot meals and living on gas station sandwiches seems a high price to pay for Trump avoidance when you could have just turned off the TV…..
🙂
I also jump up and read when I see a new post…
Here’s hoping you did some shopping while in SoDak. Check out their exorbitant sales tax on EVERYTHING! As for the Governor, she’s a candidate for the “outside chair” on any Fox news show…the one where the put the blonde with a shorter than necessary skirt.
What a horrible place you describe, and what a horrible experience for you there. You’ve convinced me to never ever drive through S.D. on my way to Colorado, or anywhere else.
I spent the first 20 years of my life in South Dakota, worked in South Dakota politics (in DC) for ten more, and have a lot of friends and relatives there. I have developed kind of a love-hate relationship with the place. It’s always been conservative, but it used to elect a few populist Democrats here and there, including my old boss Senator Tom Daschle, and have a less angry, selfish feel about it.
But over the years, it has changed. At least part of the reason is that there’s been a kind of political Darwinism at play, where those who crave low taxes/low services state flock there, and those (mostly younger people) who are turned off by the ultra-conservative vibe move to more progressive places. Because of that, what has always been a conservative place has gotten much more so.
And then those fiscal conservatives who crave low taxes/low services, let the social conservatives have all of the anti-LGBTQ, anti-choice, anti-gun protections bullshit they want so that social conservatives can help fiscal conservatives keep taxes low.
It’s a beautiful place where some of my favorite people live, but the Sturgis Super Spreader is a good example of the attitude of many — individualistic selfishness and profit-making over community-mindedness.
Thanks for a second opinion.
In addition to stories of goosed-up state patrol activity in response to marijuana legalization in neighborning states, including a nasty penchant for heavy-handed property confiscation for pot offenses, the place seems to have no credible media left anywhere. Call the Sioux Falls Argus-Leader and try to get anyone in the news room. Eventually you’re routed to some USA Today service in … the Phillipines. True story. I am putting together a story which I have hope of getting published — as I have written it.But to this day, after 18 months, I’m still looking for a Pat Kessler/Larry Jacobs-like character over there. The place seems to specialize in gone-along-to-get-alongs. Oh, and the piece will include an ex-legal advisor to the Argus Leader telling me that getting any information out of the state bureaucracy was “futile” so “don’t even try.” A land of First Amendment warriors I tell ya.
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Mostly middle aged white men at Sturgis. Sure. Have you priced a fully tricked out stock Harley lately? They can buy, which perhaps not when younger, and it is a reach for what they may have craved then. The modified Harley chopper versions cost even more.
Do you or readers know – do the City Heat biker crowd go to Sturgis? I can picture Bob Kroll showing up with his “Cops for Trump” red tee shirt. It is not standard Harley after-market equipment but it would inspire attention among other bikers of a Sturgis mentality. As to South Dakota, once through the Black Hills, there is magic there, and Rushmore was a good movie set. Also, if my recollection is correct, the world’s deepest former gold mine is there and was used for nutrino research. – Looked it up on the web – The Homestake mine solar nutrino research center is there. Montana has Gianforte’s creationist dinosaur museum; with Gianforte better known for body slamming a Guardian reporter. And getting off pleading to a misdemeanor not a felony. One learns a lot, searching the web.
South Dakota is pretty in places. i have no problem with the scenery. I like prairie landscape, and the drive from Wall to Pierre around sunset is almost spectacular. But the politics … OMFG! … the place is rotten with knucklehead authoritarians. I’m avoiding it at least unti Ms. Noem.
I’m considering a run for public office in South Dakota and, my gawd, the blatant stupidity that runs rampant here makes it challenging to imagine success. You nailed exactly what it is like in this state – and invigorated me to work towards the change, relentlessly, even when it feels slow and unfruitful. Be safe, my friend. Keep truth telling.
Absolutely 100% spot on. Oh, and Kristi’s building the wall around the Governor’s Mansion even as we speak, and the common people won’t be allowed on the grounds anymore because… Antifa? In South Dakota? Great post!
” like a horde of toxic Johnny Appleseeds” — one of many fine turns of phrase, Brian. Love them Typhoid Harleys.
Hey, I was thinking of you when I stopped by Fort Mandan outside Bismarck last month. Ken Burns, Stephen Ambrose, Dayton Duncan. That was an interesting trip. Thanks for kicking in here from time to time.
This is surprising as I have always thought of the Sturgis crowd as being some kind of think tank, you can’t swing a cat and not hit a genius up there.