Summers in Minnesota get kind of, you know, “active.” Lots of stuff to get done before we have to start chopping up the furniture for kindling, getting the herd back in the barn and stringing a rope line to get us to the outhouse in the next blizzard. Point being that I only have time for half-thoughts on important matters at hand. So allow me to be, um, “terse.”

• Every time I hear another beard-stroking pundit call Donald Trump, “an existential threat to democracy”, I yell back that this election is existential for someone else, as well. Namely Donny’s BFF Vladimir Putin. A Harris victory means refortifying Ukraine which in turn means Vladdy having to convince his mega-corrupt, murderous oligarch buddies on months-to-years more economic stress to their portfolios and yacht payments. Likewise he’ll have to continue gaslighting his cynical, sad sack population to ignore another 200,00 – 300,000 dead and wounded. That’s a tough lift in a culture with a long reputation of pushing the Czar up against a basement wall. And because of that desperate sense of “existential” … we should anticipate Vladdy’s troll farms going above and beyond what they did in 2016 in terms of tearing down Harris and re-inflating The Orange God King. Can you say, “The October Surprise of all October Surprises”?

• This country has WAY too many elections and they all go on WAY too long. Yesterday I voted in the state’s primary. (I voted for Ilhan Omar. Samuels is just an old hack.) When I asked about the turn-out, the lady managing things at Edina City Hall said, “Well, it’s great for books.” Meaning, given there were exactly two of us voters milling around she could knock off big chunks of her favorite potboiler without too many interruptions to hand out ballots. Kamala Harris’ three-month sprint, if successful, is going to make plenty rethink the two goddam years we spend putting up and hammering down candidates. Even junkies get exhausted. If it ever changes, the biggest howls will come from the parasitic campaign management crowd and their drinking buddies in TV ad sales departments.
• Let’s pay close attention to how well Harris and in particular Tim Walz’ fluency with the common pop vernacular plays in extending their reach to occasional and disinterested voters. The ability to use phrases and contemporary cultural references is like a firm handshake to people who stiffen at the sight of yet another wonky politician spewing acronyms and Sunday school pablum. Yes, Trump is an obscene lunatic. But to his deplorables he … sounds like them. There’s no good reason why liberals can’t play a part of that game.
• I came across the polling factoid about how many more votes Democrats have to pull in order to overcome the built-in disadvantage of the Electoral College. The number? 2.1% Or given the current population, roughly three million. Three million more people have to vote for the Democrat in order to “guarantee” an Electoral College victory. What exactly is it about majority rule that doesn’t comport with “originalism” and the enlightened vision of our all white, male and land-owning Founding Fathers? Drive a stake through the Electoral College.
• A recent story reported on how consumers are finally digging in and resisting inflated prices for good and services. The effect being to suppress the rate of inflation. While it’s true that Republicans are far, far more outraged at inflation than Democrats, (Jesse Watters reminds them how much gas costs every 4.2 seconds), I’m amazed it took this long for middle-class people to push back against obvious price-gouging in everything from rents to restaurants. Granted, I’m a cheap bastard, but two beers, a burger and an order of fries should not cost me $90.
• For most of my life I’ve lived with the belief that the most powerful words in this consumer paradise of ours are: “New and improved.” Slicker and more stylish clothes, appliances and cars. Better tasting cereal. Sharper, smooth gliding razor blades. More alluring scents. I don’t know about you, but as advertising hype goes I think that one has proven it’s veracity many times over. So … into that lets project … aged, treadworn, whiney and well past his expiration date … Donald Trump. A tired act if there ever was one. And after nine years still pitching the gloomiest vision of the electoral marketplace anyone has ever tried selling. Did you catch this from his Montana rally last wek? “If Comrade Walz and Comrade [Vice President] Harris win this November, the people cheering will be the pink-haired Marxists, the looters, the perverts, the flag-burners, Hamas supporters, drug dealers, gun grabbers and human traffickers … .” Don Draper would never have sold a beer with that pitch.

There’s a half dozen more where that came from. But I’ve got a list of stuff … .