Sponsor a Starving Minnesota Republican Party Leader Today

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Just pennies per day.

That’s all it will take to sponsor a starving Minnesota Republican Party official suffering under the most brutal fundraising drought in years.

Drought conditions in the troubled land of AynRandia have reached catastrophic proportions.

  • Beluga sturgeon caviar at GOP fundraisers is being rationed with Death Panel-like barbarity.
  • Tri-corner hats for Tea Party rallies are in desperately short supply.
  • GOP leaders’ extramarital liaisons are having to take place at mere four-star hotels.

Relief workers in the front lines have described conditions as “horrific.”

But your generous contribution to the Minnesota Republican Party can truly make a difference.

It can narrow the deficit on long overdue rent payments.

It can pay the Republican Party’s enormous fraud penalties.

It can refund Minnesota taxpayers for the growing cost of defending misunderstood GOP lovebirds in court.

Just imagine how full your heart will feel when you write your sponsorship check to meet those pressing Minnesota Republican Party needs.

So, please, don’t let another moment pass before making your sponsorship commitment.  Call today at 1-800-GOP-BAIL.  That’s 1-800-GOP-BAIL.  Very bored operators are standing by…

One thought on “Sponsor a Starving Minnesota Republican Party Leader Today”

  1. Thanks so much for alerting us to this devastating tragedy – it just breaks my heart. These poor souls are having to spend time asking for money that could otherwise be spent talking about the sanctity of marriage, cheating on their spouses, railing against frivolous lawsuits, filing frivolous lawsuits, preaching on fiscal discipline, and using accounting tricks to balance budgets. It’s just so unfair to them!

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