If I was a DFL state legislator in St. Paul or Minneapolis who supports gay marriage, I’d be elated about today’s Star Tribune Minnesota Poll showing 46% of Minnesotans agreeing with “the Legislature’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage.” After all, two-thirds (66% agree) of residents of Hennepin and Ramsey Counties and even more DFLers (78% agree) are on my side.
But if the majority of my constituents were outside of those core Twin Cities counties (only 37% agree), over 35 years old (only 41% agree) or earning under $50,000 per year (only 37% agree), I’d be on edge.
A lot of newly elected DFL freshman are in this position. If I were them, I would be thinking WWWD – What Would Wellstone Do?
The late Senator Paul Wellstone was much more liberal than the majority of his constituents, just as DFLers in Greater Minnesota are on this issue. Still, Wellstone was widely respected, even by those who disagreed with him, in large part because he was proactive, sincere, respectful, civil, unapologetic and direct about his disagreements with constituents. When explaining differences, he made values-driven arguments, not politics-driven arguments.
So, with Wellstone in mind, I wouldn’t hide from this issue. I wouldn’t be defensive, apologetic or reactive. I wouldn’t try to “spin” or sugar coat. I wouldn’t attack those who disagreed with me as “haters” or “homophobes.”
Instead, like Wellstone, I would address the disagreement with my constituents directly, sincerely, unapologetically, and respectfully. I would stress common values that I share with my opponents, rather than demeaning their values. Maybe something like this:
The following is a message from Minnesota state representative Joe Blow:
I voted to extend the freedom to marry to gay people. Polls show a majority of Minnesotans agree with me on that.
But some of my friends and neighbors don’t. So let’s talk.
When you elected me, I told you I would vote my conscience and values, and shoot it to you straight. Here is what my conscience says about that issue.
Marriage embodies Minnesota values. Love. Respect. Commitment. That’s what it means to me and my wife, and other married Minnesotans I know.
My conscience says that anyone promising to live by those values should be free to marry the person they love.
Government shouldn’t decide who citizens can and can’t love and marry. Individuals should have the freedom to decide that themselves.
Some of my best friends and I have had to agree-to-disagree on this issue. That happens with friends sometimes.
But I thought you deserved to hear how my conscience guided me on this issue, so we can move on to do the hard work of strengthening Minnesota’s schools, environment and economy.
So that’s where I stand. Onward.
– Loveland
Note: This post was featured as a “best of the best” in MinnPost’s Blog Cabin.
I appreciated Wellstone’s honesty in dealing with this issue. These were some of Deb Price’s reflections after he died:
he later expressed regret for voting for the mean-spirited Defense of Marriage Act meant to undermine future moves by states to allow same-sex marriages.
…
for me as a gay person, his legacy is about the importance of persevering and assuming good will, whether in the rough-and-tumble political world or in an ordinary friendship. In trying to achieve full equality, all of us who are gay have experienced excruciatingly painful moments with a well-meaning heterosexual friend. Battered in a world that marginalizes us, we can feel an especially deep hurt when a friend we think understands suddenly falls short.
“He taught me that sometimes I can disagree with my friend,” says gay businessman Charlie Rounds, who credits Wellstone with inspiring him to work to help elect Democratic candidates.
“He was there with us 99.9 percent of the time. I learned to focus on the 99.9 percent, rather than getting so angry over the tiny area where we differed.”
Wellstone was a good friend to gay America.
http://www.gaypasg.org/GayPASG/PressClippings/2002/November%202002/Paul%20Wellstone%20built%20a%20bridge%20to%20gays.htm
Thanks for sharing that, Hal. I would often roll my eyes at Wellstone’s all too predictable and (it seemed to me) contrived rants at the end of his speeches. But in in one-on-one and small group situations, he was often masterful at disagreeing without being disagreeable. He was more of a bomb-thrower from the podium, but more of a bridge builder in conversations. Though a lot of people were attracted to Wellstone’s passion, I admired the latter part of Wellstone a lot more.
Those of us who followed his career from out of state — I was in Dayton, Ohio, when he died — admired that bomb-throwing public rhetoric. “I represent the Democratic wing of the Democratic party” buoyed those of us who shared his views in darker times.
That provided a fine shorthand when I moved to Minnesota in 2007 and married a Wellstone admirer. I was explaining how the New Democratic Party is the official Opposition in Canada. “Who are they?” she asked. “The Wellstone party,” I explained.