You may be thinking, “Damn, how are they going to top that first night of Trump’s convention?” And I can understand that thinking. Monday was …um … pretty … um … out there.

The (white) gun waggling St. Louis couple talking about the ruination of the suburbs! (The suburbs!) Donny Jr. looking more red-eyed and hyped up than a Foghat tribute band drummer exiting a men’s room stall! And Donny Jr.’s girlfriend in a spray-on red dress yelling — on an empty stage — about how radical liberals, “… want to destroy this country and everything that we have fought for and hold dear. They want to steal your liberty, your freedom. They want to control what you see and think and believe so that they can control how. You. Live! They want to enslave you to the weak, dependent, liberal victimology to the point you won’t recognize this country or your self.”

Yowza! It’s got to be tough topping that.

But if you’re thinking that, you’d be wrong. The Trump family has a very deep, dare I say fathomless bench of yellers, I mean speakers. Spray-on gold leaf-tongued orators you might say. And each of them has a vision of radical, anarchist Joe Biden’s America more terrifying than the one before them.

Check out this speech leaked to the fake news media prior to this evening’s gathering of the Grand Old Guignol.

Hostess: “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Samuel J. McGuirk, Vice-President of the QAnon National Trust and Treasurer of We Build the Wall (Greater and Bigger Again).”

Sam McGuirk: “American patriots. I wish I could speak to you in better times. But both you and I know I can’t. America is dying. Flopping on a cold rock like a diseased carp, gasping for one last pure breath. One last inhalation of air free of tyranny and socialism. A last glimpse of the pure blue sky before the sickening, poisoned red glow from the smoldering ruins of once great cities like Minneapolis and Kenosha, cities destroyed by Joe Biden-Kamala Harris-led antifa snipers and arsonists, moves over us and blots out the sun.

Radicals and heathens and, I’ve been told, pizza-eating cannibals like Biden and Harris are driving their people, dark, and I do mean dark, criminal, rapist and pedophile people out of the inner city into our suburbs. Suburbs where there are now jungle-like voodoo tent invasions full of drug dealers injecting babies and your pets, your Pomeranians, your Castle Defense dobermans with meth and crack. You’ve seen it on ‘Fox and Friends’.

“And all this while they disarm the police, the proud last line of defense between you and some “African” American openly driving through what was once your neighborhood with a broken tail light. A tail light which as we know from Q is really a code, a signal, to other America-hating antifa looters to follow in behind, kidnapping your women, your wives and daughters. Abducting them in order to subordinate them to the most perverse and sickening desires of their drug-crazed socialist anti-Second Amendment cults. This is happening right now, to pure, righteous women who proudly fall to their knees in the presence of godly men like the Rev. Jerry Falwell Jr. and pray for a man, a great man with a long red tie, a man promised by the Bible, to come and drive the mongrels from our treated lawns.

Ladies and gentlemen I know of what I speak. As a proud member of the Northwest Alabama Muzzleloaders and Reenactors I have experienced first-hand the disrepect and abuse of basic freedoms that comes with cannibal pedophile socialist invasion. When I confronted an anti-white, anti-christian invader filling up what was clearly a stolen vehicle over at Bobby Dan’s FastGas here in Haleyville, informing him in no uncertain terms with the business end of my Second Amendment-protected AR-15, that he had five seconds to stop abducting and plotting fornication with my women and get out of the county, I was mocked by the fake news media. You all saw it. Me, with only a fifty-bullet clip to protect my freedoms, against a wild-eyed “African” American intent on practicing socialist pedophilia at Bobby Dan’s … in broad daylight!

This is where America is today. So-called “urban” forces, illegally immigrating openly not just into suburbs but in … in … in places beyond the suburbs. Places where our great generals shed patriotic blood to keep us all free of the darkening of our country.

I could go on for quite some time. But you know most of the rest of the story. How China invented the kung flu in a lab and made a deal with Joe Biden to shoot it into our tap water, our Bud Light and even our Mountain Dew to steal the election. Fortunately for us, and this is where the story gets to its happy ending. There is light at the end of this dark tunnel because, praise the lord!, we have had Donald J. Trump here to stop the cannibal socialist gun-hating plot in its tracks.

Donald Trump has worked 24 hours a day to cut off invaders from China. He said this “plandemic” was just oneperson coming in from what we used to be able to call the Yellow Peril, before political correctness ran crazy and wecan’t say what we’re all thinking. And he was right. Like the miracle he said would come, and like the miracle he himself is for us, the Wu-hoo flu has stopped. He has said so.

The fake news media, libtard smart asses who wouldn’t know a Mountain Dew from a pocket Glock, people who don’t have a tenth the mental power of a Sean Hannity, say this flu has killed a couple thousand Americans. But you know that’s a hoax. Those people were going to die anyway. What are we getting so upset about?

I don’t believe in the “plandemic” and either do you. Why? Because Donald Trump, the man who holds the Bible high over the head of radical antifa pedophiles tells us so.

Donald Trump is all we need. Donald Trump knows all that needs to be known. Donald Trump was promised by God. It’s in the Bible. You can look it up. Leviticus, I’m pretty sure. And, ladies and gentlemen, my fellow true Americans, I attest here and now that Donald J. Trump is not and never has been a pedophile cannibal.

Thank you and good night. Keep your women close and your weapons closer.

God bless America!”