I strongly suspect that 20, 30, 50 years from now last night’s debate will be remembered best for … cats. For a 79 year-old American presidential candidate angrily asserting that he saw something “on TV” … about something on Facebook ... where someone was talking about something someone’s daughter somewhere heard … from a friend … that might have happened; namely that “migrant” darkies in Ohio are eating other people’s dogs and cats.

Jeeezus … .

Whatever else can be said conclusively about the face-off between Trump and Kamala Harris, including the indisputable facts that she was prepared, poised and looked presidential while he was, as usual, glum, angry and frequently incoherent, its that Trump’s act never plays well outside the thick MAGA bubble. By the time the 90 minutes were up and Trump had done his usual dystopian riffing, a lot of people other than just smug elitists like me, feet up on the ottoman, sipping a beverage, had to look around and ask, “What the hell country is he talking about?”. The United States? Today? A country in “tremendous decline”, in an absolutely miserable condition, “Venezuela on steroids”, overrun by “millions of hardened criminals”, with prices up “70-80-90-%” and “nuclear war” being the next sound we hear?

Good god, man. Seek help. Take the meds Melania is pushing on you. (Ok Donny, be careful with that. Have someone else test them first, maybe Eric, because with you and that pre-nup you gotta be careful.) But good lord, talk about hysterical. Just what everyone wants in a commander-in-chief.

We all know that his fear and horror shtick plays with the sad, low information goobers and goob-ettes following his rallies around the country. But out in public? in the real world? In front of millions of people who, correctly, think a guy ranting about “migrants” eating your cat is probably having a stroke? It just sounds … you know … weird.

By the time ABC cut to a commercial at the one hour mark, the vote was in. Harris cleaned Trump’s clock. With remarkable ease. Another example of what being a good student, preparing for the job at hand and having a full understanding of who exactly your opponent is can do for you.

I have no idea what this smackdown will do for “undecided” voters. But Democratic strategists have to have revitalized confidence that Trump has no other act to work with. He’s got nothing but same very old, very tired, very weird shtick. Period. There is no policy to jab back with. Asked about the nine years he’s been promising an alternative to Obamacare, “in the coming weeks” he said what? That he has, “a concept of a plan”? What in god’s name does that even mean?

It’s no wonder Harris challenged him to another debate before last night’s match. The man remains the preposterous, incompetent fool he’s always been. Out in a farm field with flags a-flyin’ and red hats a-bobbin’ the crowd is thrilled to believe Democrats are killing babies after birth. But in front of cameras beaming him back to people who can read and know the world isn’t flat, that Ted Nugent isn’t the greatest patriot and musical act of our era and that they aren’t barricading their front doors against a zombie horde of Haitian cat eaters … he sounds 101% batshit.

I plead with some Nobel-winning behavioral scientist/social psychologist to explain to me how 70 million people living in the United States in the 21st century can believe anything he says, including the part about eating cats.

As we all knock back our meds in preparation this week’s debate we’re well aware that “we” in general agree on next to nothing. But maybe … maybe … we can all accept that asking the two candidates, both incumbents in a way, to clarify/explain things they’ve said and done in and out of The White House is fair play.

I’ve seen several lists of possible questions CNN’s Jake Tapper and Dana Bash could ask. Allow me to add a few more.

For Trump:

“In recent campaign appearances you have talked at great length about the life and death choice of either being electrocuted by a sinking electric boat or eaten by a shark. Millions of Americans share this same concern. What is your final decision on this matter and what then is your advice, as Commander in Chief, to concerned residents of Hays, Kansas?”

“During your presidency you promised legislation jump-starting ‘Infrastructure Week’ with a laser-like focus on your part to improve America’s roads, bridges, ports and such while also creating millions of high-paying blue collar jobs. By one count you promised ‘Infrastructure Week’ no less than 41 times. Unfortunately we can’t find a date when any such legislation was ever introduced or when you signed it in to law. Please provide our audience with those dates.”

“In February of 2020, a month before COVID hit with full impact in the United States you told reporter Bob Woodward that the virus was “really deadly stuff” while at the same time telling the public there was nothing to worry about You said that it was just “a couple people coming in from China” and that it would disappear by Easter. After that a million Americans died. Do you understand what “deadly” means? Can you define it for us? And as a bonus question, did you ever have ultra violet light and/or bleach inserted up your rectum?”

“In addition to being convicted of 34 felonies for election and business fraud you have also been judged a ‘rapist’ for assaulting E. Jean Carroll. You have lost two defamation cases related to this matter and are on the hook for over $83 million in damages. Yet you still insist you never met Carroll and that she is making this all up. Please tell us here and now sir, whether you still think Ms. Carroll is a liar?”

“Do you still routinely cheat at golf?”

“You recently proposed eliminating the federal income tax and replacing it with a 10% tariff on everything imported into America. This would mean, for example, at everything at WalMart would cost 10% more. Who, in your mind, bears the cost of tariffs? Mexico? Woke blue cities? Sneering liberal elites? E. Jean Carroll? Also, would this tariff apply to the Trump ties, gold sneakers and other items you are currently selling?”

“You have had at least five in person conversations with Russian President Vladimir Putin, but have refused to release any information much less recordings or transcripts of those meetings. You did hough once say that, “I could care less”, if such transcripts were released. Nevertheless, House Republicans quashed a subpoena to force the American translator for your private two-hour Helsinki meeting to disclose what was discussed. Can you promise us that that translator/note taker is now free to reveal what you and Mr. Putin discussed? Okay, why not?”

“According to an analysis of your own tax records no one person in the United States lost more money from 1985 to 1994 than you. Over $1 billion. Casinos under your guidance went bankrupt. Casinos, sir. Then, during your presidency the federal deficit ballooned more than under all but two presidents, George W. Bush and Abraham Lincoln, both of whom were forced to finance wars. Considering this and the fact that no New York City banker has been willing to give you a loan for over 25 years can you point to anyone other than yourself or say, Stephen Miller, who thinks you know two shits about how to run a lemonade stand much less the American economy?”

Finally, for President Biden:

“Why are you so old?”